Buckeyes NCAA Bound!
Looks like the Bucks will make the Big Dance afterall with a nice win today against Wisconsin. I expect that we will get run tomorrow by Sparty and be a one and done NCAA team. Still, it is better than defending our NIT championship! It has certainly been an up and down season for this group, but I am very happy that it looks like we will be making the tourney!
Duke and Duchess Shops…
So, the BP up the street from me converted its convenience shop into a Duke and Duchess a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know what it is about the D&D label but it is a magnet for all of the white trash and stupid fuckers to come in and make life miserable for the regular people. I live in a pretty decent neighborhood mind you but this opening must have attracted them from far and wide, both as customers and behind the counter. What was once a perfectly fine stop for gas and a Mt. Dew has turned into a day ruiner.
For instance, the first time I went into the re-branded shop was in the morning. I stopped to get gas and wanted to run in for a newspaper, a Mt. Dew and a Slim Jim. Pretty easy transaction, I figured. WRONG! First of all there was a stupid fuck working behind the counter that had no idea what he was doing. Did I mention he was stupid? And a fuck? Well anyway, the line is like 5 deep and the WT chick at the front of it was trying to get a MONEY ORDER. I’m sorry…A FUCKING MONEY ORDER?? What the fuck? It is 2009, right? Who the fuck needs money orders any more and if you did why in fuck’s name would you go to the BP to get one? To make matters worse, there were no Tabasco flavored Slim Jims anymore. Evidently, the switch to the D&D has caused a re-evaluation of Slim Jim flavors. I go over to the paper stand and no USA Today’s. Unreal. Day….ruined. I leave without anything so distracted and irritated that I pull out of the station with the fuel hose still in my tank. I am not sure why, but I confessed my deed to Stupid Fuck who was still helping White Trash Chick with her money order. This of course caused havoc in the shop. It was like 9 fucking 11 in there. No one knew what to do. I suggested turning off the pump. Good idea, Stupid Fuck says. Anyhow, I got a bill in the mail for $192 the other day. Stupid fucking Duke and Duchess.
Time Change:
Why do we have to go through this exercise of changing our clocks twice a year. Last weekend, we had to “spring forward.” Why? It is stupid, confusing and worthless. Can’t we keep it the same all year long? And WHY do we have to do it? Can someone answer THAT? And don’t tell me it’s because of the farmers.
A loss to Northwestern? We’re done
Maybe we can be the first team to repeat as NIT champs in a while.
Dear Buckeyes Basketball Team:
Boom Outta Here
Signed
NCAA Selection Committee
What the fuck is going on here?? Sub zero temperatures; snow every day; ice storms?? The last three weeks have been absolutely fucking miserable. Whatever happened to global warming? I was kinda excited about it actually. I mean, who DOESN’T like it warmer. People like warm weather, not this shit. So please for the love of Al Gore, let’s do what we can to make it warmer! Use more aerosol sprays; buy a Hummer; throw some more shit away and use regular light bulbs. PLEASE. This shit has got to stop. Help!
About the best way I have to describe what happened Monday night is to just simpy relay the text messages that I sent throughout the course of the night…
8:00 You OK?
8:05 ARE YOU OK??
8:26 Liked Boeckman starting…we could have a good game plan tonight
9:01 Beanie is doing pretty good but just think how great Mo Wells would be doing right now
10:32 Important to get a stop here
10:43 Get 2 the fuck out of the game. He is a fucking joke
10:52 Pryor is a fraud. Fuck him
11:00 I hate 2 with every ounce of being in my soul. He runs when he should pass and passes when he should run. FUCK HIM
11:01 I wish Pryor would have gone to Michigan
11:02 I think he might be retarded
11:18 Beanie is a pansy
11:22 This is going to be a stressful finish
11:42 I think it is short
11:43 FUCK
11:49 I just puked
11:56 Un fucking believable
I don’t want to sound elitist by what I am about to say, but something has GOT to be done about the mall, more specifically, the clientele at the mall. If you are from Central Ohio you are familiar with Polaris Fashion Place, a fairly upscale establishment on the north side of town. I am there today dealing with the usual post-holiday bullshit and wander over to the food court to get something to eat. Mistake #1. First of, who the fuck decided that Chic Fil A would not be open on Sundays? Isn’t that like the biggest fucking day at the mall anyway?? Scanning the court and my stomach concurrently, I ascertained that Sbarro was somehow a logical option. Mistake #2. While in line for shitty pizza, I looked up in amazement at the family that was a few people ahead of me. Dad weighed in at about 300 with a NASCAR hat, Wrangler jeans (ass crack showing) and some jive t-shirt. Mom looked like she just got out of rehab. Kids a mess. The largest collection of white trash I have seen in a while.
It spawned an idea. Why the fuck should we even let these people in the mall? What could they have possibly be doing there? There is no NASCAR shop, Big Lots, or a gun show at Polaris. We should post bouncers at every entrance with a Trash O Meter handy and deny entrance to those undeserving. We can send them to Eastland or Westland. I realize there might be days that I might get left out. OK by me.
Thoughts?
Saturday was a disgrace. Again. This fucking basketball team better sit down, take a hard look at themselves in the mirror and decide which direction they want to go. The Big 10 is strong this year and it DOES NOT get any easier from here. At East Lansing on Tuesday night. Sure, we are sitting at 10-2 (1-1) but I am NOT happy with what we have seen lately. Let’s go fellas!!
Well things have gone about how I thought they would for the Big Ten in the bowl games so far. With only one win on the books, it is up to the Buckeyes to save face Monday night against the Longhorns.
In the immortal words of Mr. McMahon, “No Chance, no chance in hell.” I fear that the Bucks might get run out of Glendale and suffer yet another embarrassing defeat on the national stage. Our big hopes?? 1) Playing Boeckman and Pryor together and 2) hoping Texas does not want to be there. Not sure we can count on either of those as being foolproof.
As for the rest of our “conference,” what a fucking joke. I know a lot of people root for teams just because of conference affiliation but not me. I hate fucking Wisconsin with every ounce of being in my soul. I could not bring myself to root for them in a bowl game under any circumstance. I would root for Iraq against them. They got what they deserved. Penn State too. I am one of the few Buckeye fans that likes USC and especially Petey. I was hoping they would crush JoePa yesetrday.
I was kinda rooting for Michigan State but knew that they did not have much of a shot and I was definitely rooting for Northwestern (anyone seen Chase Daniel’s mom and dad lately?). And Minnesota??? Should not have even been invited to a bowl. So here we sit at 1-5 with the Buckeyes the only hope.
Cue Mr. McMahon’s music.
Fuck
